When I first started WGU I went through my first few assessments quickly, but they were mostly objective assessments and I was still only putting in about 10 hours a week (if I passed the multiple choice test, I passed the class). But because I did those quickly, my advisor got excited and suggested I be ready for student teaching this fall 2011. That freaked me out because it looked so big. After freaking out for a few weeks, I asked if I could push it to January 2012. Then as I entered the early education classes and their performance objectives (essays and projects), I saw how much longer they take; even though it was still review, I had to do the work). The first six classes or so had about 4 tasks per class, but the later ones had 10-13 tasks per class. I began to get stressed again about being ready by January 2012. My advisor insisted that these later tasks tend to go much quicker. I translated that to mean that although there are more, they are not as time consuming as the earlier ones. That gave me some hope and kept me going for another 5 weeks or so, but I was still stressed and increasingly so (I scared myself, I have never been that upset before). I finally decided to push it back to fall 2012. If I could have made it by January, with a little more push, then surely I could make it by August and still be able to sleep. I should have it all wrapped up by March, I thought.
But now I am into those later ones and I am not seeing them being any less time consuming than the earlier ones; there is just 3 times the work. (These classes have 10+ tasks instead of 4, and many of those require twice + the work, such as an essay AND a project AND a report on the project for each). I am only putting in about 10 hours a week, averaging 1 task a week. I have 42 weeks and 47 tasks and 2 tests. That doesn't add up. I sent an email to my advisor and asked him what was up. I tried to do that last July, but he really didn't hear me. This time he did. Maybe that had something to do with the suggestion that I might freak out and drive to his house banging on his door. He finally explained. They don't go quicker because they are less time consuming, but because people usually see the light at the end of the tunnel and go much quicker.
OH! That is very different!!
But I can't postpone anymore. I wouldn't have the credits I need for each term. I just have to make it work. I hope this new laptop will help out. So far I can only do my work on the main computer in the family/living room/kitchen, that means when everyone is asleep. Now, maybe I can lock myself in my room every now and again and get some work done without kicking everyone out of the house. Even that can not happen on camping weekends.
Sage would come up if she could, but she is grandpa sitting. Grandpa is needing constant watching now. She is taking time off of school to take care of him.
There are just too many variables to really see what will happen. I am going to begin my in-class assignments; I really have no idea how those will pan out and how long they will take. Come summer, I can let the kids play outside and work more if I am up against the line, but I have to have them all done by the end of July. I still do not have a good plan on what to do with my kids when I go into the class for these assignments, that bothers me a lot. Of the 47 tasks I have left half, of them require in class components. Not simple observations like UoP asked for, but interviews, lesson planning, lesson teaching, and planning and creating visual aids (and at least one essay to go along with each).
I know that Heavenly Father has this planned out. I have received feelings of peace and assurance numerous times. I don't have to worry, it is all fine. But I worry anyway. I wish I didn't; I loose sleep over it which is just counter productive. I KNOW the Lord has a plan, this is His plan and all I have to do is trust. Why do I worry then? I get frustrated, anxious, worried, try various scenarios, wish it was all easier, and worry some more. Why? If only I had more faith. I feel very much like the father in Mark 9:24 who brought his son to the Savior and asked Him to heal his son: "Lord, I believe; help though mine unbelief." I know it will work out. Someday, quite soon actually, this will all be behind me. Why then do I doubt?
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