Sick babies are NO fun! & I have a real attitude problem

Well, I suppose I should have expected it. I am the nursery leader at church after all. He has been in the nursery with us since he was a month old. The problem now is that he is mobile. So now all the germy toys are accessible. So do I hold him the whole time and keep him from playing? Not practical or even nice. Or do I banish him and Jonny to the hall? I really do like Jonny's help before he has to run off to Priesthood meeting. But something has to change. I don't want to have a sick baby every week until he gets over the oral exploring stage.

Apparently having a nice school break for Christmas and having two weeks of no school work at the close of my last term was not good for my motivational levels. I liked it too much and now I am having a hard time getting back into it. Well that, and they stick me with two huge papers/projects right at the start. Then my mentor says something about 2 tasks a week until May, the early deadline for student teaching next. Yikes, 2 a week? I have been doing 1 maybe 1 1/2 so far, but not 2. If I didn't have anything else to do, sure!! But I don't have 3-4 hours a day to spend on school. Well, I'll do the best I can. Then there is always the What-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-children-during-student-teaching question. I need to adopt a grandma: One who doesn't mind FIVE children.

Ya know, it is actually rather interesting that I am deciding not to push too hard "after all, family is a higher priority" and then Joshua gets sick. As if to punctuate it all.

Well, either way, the time will come when it will all be behind me. I will have my BA and I will NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN. I will be able to look back and see the good it has accomplished and the beauty of the timing of it all. Enough of this pity party!

random news

Before her hair cut

And after



Rebecca went and chopped her hair off. Now it is practically a mullet.

AARRGGGHH!!!!

Isaac made a pretty cool foil boat.

All his own design. I did some minimal help with the rigging.

In other news, Joshua thinks he is big enough to start crawling. He can also push himself from his belly into a sitting position. Now I really have to make sure the legos are off the floor.

For about 9 years I have put the kid's hand prints on a Christmas tree skirt. We finally filled one and have begun on the second. When babies are involved I usually strip them so that they don't get paint on their clothing. I never thought I should have to worry about my clothing though-- Thank you Joshua!! 5 sets of hand prints take up a lot of space. Maybe I should think up a new tradition.

Well, I better get going for now.

Joshua

Well, little man Joshua is 6 months old now.

I am still pumping for him, but it is no longer exclusively. It was until about 4 months, but then my supply went down and I didn't want to put in the work to get it back up again. Now it has dropped again so I am giving him about half of his daily food.

But he is a great little guy. We love having him around. Can you tell he likes to hear his song? He always stops to listen to his song.

Some Joshua Pictures

Just for fun

OK, so he is teething and slobbery...

And rather blurry,

But he is still pretty cute.

Week 2

So we managed to get his weight back up. Big relief! But in the process of supplementing, my milk supply went way down. The doc said that as he nurses, my milk will increase. Tuesday night I came to conclusion it wasn't happening. I needed my milk up so that he could learn to latch on, but I needed him to latch on in order for my milk to go up. AARRGGHH!!!

Wednesday morning I called Le Leche League. May I just say, I LOVE LE LECHE LEAGUE!!! Julie made a two hour drive (1 hour each way) to get me an awesome real double pump. She came to my home, set me up, and did her best to assess Joshua. She said, "If they aren't nursing, it is because they cannot nurse. All instincts are pointing them towards that end so if it isn't happening, something is in the way. She noticed a few things that may be causing the problem. His tongue isn't doing a wave action like it is suppose to, but is bunched up in the middle. Consequentially, he is trying to compensate by using his entire mouth muscles to do the job. But this is fatiguing. He tries but tires and lets go, tries and lets go. She noticed that his lower jaw is receded. She admits that she does not know if it is enough to cause problems but she suspects that it is. It is called mandibular hypoplasia. This could have affected the development of his tongue. She recommended a breastfeeding specialist in Seattle. I set up an appointment for next Thursday. Julie's help was spread over the course of the day. She came, left, and returned with more information and pointers. She left me with a finger feeder. This little device will syphon the milk through a flexible tube I place on my finger, he then sucks on my finger instead of plastic nipples. This will help reduce nipple confusion. She showed me a different position that would help him latch on better with his jaw. I was SO grateful for her help.

But wow, what a lot of work this is going to take. I am already tired and overly emotional. Do I call the Relief Society for more help, dinners and child care? Do I put my other children second for the foreseeable future? If so, I have no right to return to college classes in July. Is all of this worth it? Is it necessary? I'll have to figure it out. I will continue down this path for as long as I feel impressed to do so. I just hope I quickly learn the lessons of this trial so that it won't be long.

And then to top it off, he now has thrush; just one more thing to make this difficult.

Well tomorrow will be an important day. Isaac is going to be baptised and confirmed, and then Joshua will receive his baby blessing. We are doing it at the same time so that family will not have to make extra trips. Jonny's Dad is here from Arizona for the events, so this is the time. I'll try to get in a shower before then.

First Week Musings

It never really struck me the first 2 or 3 babies, but since then it has. During postpartum time I am so grateful for the little things. Running water, warm water, showers, washers and driers, warm houses away from drafts, disposable conveniences. I am in awe of the centuries of women who have done this without these wonderful gifts. I am truly blessed.

The kids are adoring Joshua. It is so fun to watch. I love the first few days with such a special new spirit. I seem to forget how special new babies really are.




I have been absolutely horrible about returning phone calls this week. Joshua is having a hard time learning to latch on. By Thursday morning, he was looking very jaundiced, his dirty diapers had dropped down to only one or two wet and no poopy, and we had spent a very frustrating night with him trying, but not being able to eat. I called the Doctor / midwife Thursday morning. She had me come in right away. His jaundice wasn't too bad, but of concern. He had also lost 18 oz. She gave me a breast shield to try. I had never used one, but it seemed to help. So every hour that I was awake, he needed to be nursing, if he didn't improve, we would need to go to the hospital. No Pressure!?! Friday his jaundice looked much better, he had had 4 wet diapers, but his weight was still down, stabilized, but he hadn't gained. I needed to get his weight up and my milk supply up. I would also need to pump and give him that too.




I have a hand pump but never really got the hang of it. So Joshua and I stopped at WalMart to get an electric pump. I don't like carrying those car seats, so I just wrapped him up in my coat. It was raining a bit so he was hidden. Here I was, Woman on a mission: get in, get that machine (ignore the one more expense) and get out, so my baby can be healthy. I am not seeing all the people smiling and looking at me until a scruffy looking 20 year old guy said "Hi" to me. That woke me out of my zone. Again, I had forgotten how special babies are. I began to return the smiles that I was receiving only because I was carrying a baby. I had brought joy into Walmart by bringing my baby.

So we began this absolutely insane schedule of nursing and pumping every two hours. WHAT?!? It is not even physically possible to to fit that into a two hour period. At least not if I am supposed to eat, let alone sleep. Here I am waking a new born to eat at 3:00 AM. But I do my best. He is gaining, but I can't keep up with the pumping too. About the time I started bleeding, I decided that I would try supplementing with formula. I would still nurse at the right times, but I would try to get another ounce of formula in him too. This is working better. (I realized I hadn't showered in 3 days.) My mission is to get him back up to birth weight and then I can work on the latching-on issues.





I do not like the idea of formula, especially for such a new person. I love breastfeeding. I love the convenience, simplicity, bonding, cost, and child spacing it provides for me. But as I see him chow down on that bottle, I am very tempted to put it aside. Many breastfeeding purists would criticize and consider me a failure. At this point I figure if my baby does not thrive, I am failure. I'll keep fighting for the breastfeeding; the health benefits are so worth it in my mind.




Asking for frozen dinners instead of gifts was pure inspiration. It has been such a blessing not having to worry about dinners in the middle of all of this. I have been so absorbed with taking care of him. So if you are among the many I was planning on calling this week and didn't, this is my excuse.

Happy Birthday Daniel / Welcome Joshua

So the revised the due date (12th) came and went. Since he wasn't coming and he wasn't coming, we started to wonder if the original due date was more accurate after all. I was really hoping to have Daniel's birthday and the new baby's birthday at least a week apart. I finally began to think that I was forever going to be that big and live with sciatica.

So Daniel's birthday and due date came (Saturday the 22nd). We had a fun birthday for him. He received the watch he had been wanting so badly and all the neighborhood kids came over for cake (that way I'm not tempted to finish it).

Rebecca, Daniel, and his motorcycle cake

Steven accompanied "Happy Birthday" on his guitar

Then Sunday morning at about 2:00 I was woken up by "a real contraction." I had them rather consistently for a while at about 10 minutes apart. They eventually tapered off and I got some more sleep. But this was the day. Tawni (sis in law) and Sage (sister) came over with all sorts of food. (Tawni left us with 3-4 dinners. Bless that woman!!!) But I wasn't moving quite fast enough and she had to go and rescue Hyrum from his National Guard Drills. Sage stayed though and kept the kids occupied as my contractions became more intense. We called the midwife at about 6:00 and she headed over. Our baby was born at 9:26pm.

He weighed 9lb 4oz and 22 in long. Our biggest yet. With this and a few other indicators we figure he was over due after all. Daniel didn't get him for his birthday, but they are now birthday neighbors.

Steven had all the kids calling him Joshua and since Mom and Dad never really came up with anything else, he won. We finally decided to name him Joshua Moroni Johnson.

Naturally our camera decided to loose itself so we have only a few cell phone pictures. Rebecca has misplaced the phone and I don't want to wait any longer to post this. I'll have to add them later. sorry. Here is one to keep you going.